Life as a Spawner

I could make this whole post some social commentary about the social and cultural conditioning of women. I'll spare you, the potential reader. What I do find frustrating, however, is the backfiring of caring.  What's this, you ask?  Simple.  I love people.  I will always love people.  I will always give everything I've got to other people - to the point of self-sacrifice.  It is a conscious choice I make, one I love making.  What irritates me is when people don't quite know when to stop taking me up on it, and when I don't know that I should be assertive so that I don't reach threshold.  Threshold is a bad place for me to be.  I get very, very crabby. There are times in all of my relationships that I feel like I'm taken for granted, which, as I'm coming to learn, is really part of the human condition.  Let's face it, if we showed our true appreciation for everything others do for us, we'd be almost grovelling until we were blue a...

For some reason, it isn't hardwired into my brain that I can have a sick day. Which means, if I decide to stay home from class because I'm legitimately sick, if I take Special K over to her aunt's, which was already scheduled, I feel guilty for the entirety of her time with said aunt. Even though said aunt loves Special K like she's her own. Even though I'm going to do homework and make sure everything is caught up. Even though I know it's important for mommy to stay healthy and sane so she can be the best mommy for her bestest baby. Yeah.  About me. Today's theme song:  "Not the Doctor" by That Canadian woman who made a lot of money off of her dysfunctional relationship.  Hell hath no profit like a woman scorned - hell yeah!

I could be really cutesy and start out with actions, or something weird, or...I don't even know. But ya see, that isn't exactly my style. What I will start out with is where I'm at: Sitting in front of my laptop, staring out of my window at my neighbor's house, periodically looking over my shoulder at my sweet little girl to make sure she's still asleep in her swing...so I can get like...five more minutes of "me" time... " Five more minutes...just five more minutes...yessssss.... " I'm waiting to take my car to the garage for an oil change, and I'm praying to different dieties (because that's fun) that the cost of the oil change stays within the $50 range, because, well, that's all I have allotted for that.  Being a foodie, we don't invade the food budget under many circumstances. So if you're reading this, welcome.  It's a simple-ish life for us.  We'll see what the day brings, and whether or...